


My Heart Is Buried In Venice

by ratquesadilla



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry, Inspired by a Ricky Montgomery Song, M/M, Song: My Heart Is Buried in Venice (Ricky Montgomery)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 06:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30085119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratquesadilla/pseuds/ratquesadilla
Summary: "Not any of that ‘ily’ crap, just ‘I love you’."
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 9





	My Heart Is Buried In Venice

**Author's Note:**

> this does deal with suicide so keep that in mind. this is just fiction writing practice for me so i hope it isn't terrible.

_come rest your bones next to me; and toss all your thoughts to the sea_

“I remember the first time we met, I had moved into the house next to yours, the only thing you wanted to do was play video games all day. I would look through my window and see you, hunched over on the floor staring at a screen. The only way I could get you to hang out with me was to ask your mom, and I'm glad I did. You’d never admit it but I know you’re glad I did that. I am too.” the boy paused to take a deep breath. “You didn’t care that I was a year older, that I would never be in the same grade as you, you still wanted to be my friend.”

_i’ll pull up each of our anchors; so we can get lost, you and me_

“I remember this one time when you were in 10th grade, you asked me to teach you about physics, so I did. I talked for hours and you paid attention the whole time. At one point you fell asleep on me, so I picked you up and placed you in bed. As I was getting up you lightly tugged the end of my jacket, asking me to stay without actually asking me to stay. I did, and your mom found us the next morning. While she was scolding you for staying up on a school night, I saw pages of notes from the night prior. At that moment the only thing I knew was that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life.”

_my heart is buried in venice; hidden beneath all my worries and doubts_

“I remember when you confessed, you were always calm but in this moment you were flustered, and nervous. It was during the training camp with Karasuno, and you were waiting for me to finish my game with the Airhead, Akaashi, and Four Eyes. you mumbled a faint ‘I like you’ and pulled our foreheads together. To which I responded with ‘can I kiss you’ and you nodded your head. I felt your nose move up and down on the bridge of mine, then I kissed you. It was only a couple seconds but it felt like forever. That night you slept with my arm wrapped around you.”

_my heart is buried in venice; waiting for someone to take it home_

“We sat together for every bus ride to an away game, at every one of Hinata’s matches, and when we ate at each other’s houses. Lev liked to tease us every time you fell asleep on my shoulder, or when we shared earbuds on the bus. He only stopped when he started dating Yaku and started doing lovey-dovey shit too. You never noticed that I’d slouch a little so you can put your head on my shoulder easier, or that I saved any cute photo of us that got sent to the group chat or sent on snap. Sometimes I would have to carry you into your room because you were too tired to walk, but I never minded”

_even when you try to hide it; a smile creeps out from your teeth_

“You organized a party for me when I got into university, even though you had exams to study for. My heart practically melted when I saw you that day. Your eyes sparkled under the fluorescent lights of the gym, and you were wearing one of my t-shirts. My heart melted even more when I found out you did all that for me. This was the first time I told you I loved you, and you said it back. Not any of that ‘ily’ crap, just ‘I love you’. I meant it, I still do.”

_i never thought that i would have to say i’m sorry; for anyone but me_

“When you got into the same university, we decided to rent an apartment together. It wasn’t anything fancy but it was home. After being semi-long distance for a year, this was the first proper night we spent together. The first night we slept together in a bed that wasn’t meant for a child. The first night where neither of us had to worry about a family member walking in on us.”

_now my heart is buried in venice; waiting for someone to take it home_

“I remember when we decided to adopt a cat. We stopped at the shelter every day on the way home from class looking for the perfect pet. You fell in love with him the moment you guys locked eyes, like you were meant to find each other. We named him Calcifer. After the fire demon from your favorite movie, Howl’s Moving Castle. He would cry if you didn’t let him on the bed, and when you did he would sit in between the two of us. Neither of us minded, we could still cuddle with him sandwiched in the middle.”

_say, say what you mean; tell me the truth or tell me you’re through_

“You liked sitting in the dark when you were pissed. Sometimes you’d let me sit with you, other times you didn’t. When you did we would listen to music, just like in high school on the bus. Calcifer always knew when you were sad, it was like he could feel it. When you were sad he wouldn’t bother you for food, you always thought he didn’t want to be a bother. You liked it when he climbed into your arms and put his head on your shoulder, you said it was ‘a poor man’s therapy’.”

_don’t leave me to breathe; don’t leave me to bleed; for someone who chose to leave me be_

“Even if you were introverted, and I was the one who had to introduce you to people, you’re still the kindest person I’ve ever met. You always put the team first, or made sure I was ok before you worked on yourself. Every saturday you would go to the shelter and volunteer, regardless of if you had a deadline the next day, or an important test to study for. You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met.”

_my heart is buried in venice; waiting for someone to take it_

Kuroo placed a bouquet of daisies on the edge of the gravestone. It was a gloomy day, everything was grey. The graveyard was empty for the most part, and silent. This was the first time Kuroo visited Kenma since he came home and saw him in the bathroom. That whole day was a blur, Kuroo expected to come home to his boyfriend playing video games, and instead he came home to his boyfriend’s lifeless body. The doctors said it was an overdose. He thought about attending the funeral, and he was going to, but he backed out at the last second. There was no way he could go in there and look at Kenma’s body lying in a casket. He didn’t want to hear the “I’m sorry”s, or the “he was a good person”s, he just wanted to be alone. He sat in front of the headstone for god knows how long. An hour? 15 minutes? Kuroo stopped caring about time, among other things, a while ago. After a while he got up, brushed the dirt off his jacket, and slowly walked towards his car. He didn’t notice Bokuto and Akaashi until he heard the familiar “hey”. The couple pulled him into a long hug, something Kuroo had been needing but was too afraid to ask for. A couple tears were shed but it was silent for the most part. “Do you want to go back to our place, or go to yours,” Akaashi asked. “My apartment, I can’t avoid it forever.” Kuroo replied, “and Calcifer probably has no idea what’s going on.” Bokuto nodded and sat in the driver’s seat. The drive was short, no longer than 10 minutes, which was no help in the anxiety that was clouding Kuroo’s brain. Every step he took, every stair he climbed, heightened his nervousness. By the time he got to his door, his feet felt like bricks. Begging him to not go in. It took a couple tries to get the key in the lock because his hands were shaking so much. The apartment was dark, it was comforting but also scary. He knew Lev had been coming over to feed Calcifer, but other than that everything was seemingly normal. He walked into the bedroom and almost burst out in tears. Not because he was sad, but because he finally felt at peace.

_home_


End file.
